It’s not like we’ve really had the opportunity to travel a lot this year. Thank you 2020! But at the start of the year, just before the lock down, I was able to go to New Zealand. Besides being a beautiful place, the month spent there has changed a lot for me. Let me explain. I just stopped wearing bras. Goodbye bras, I’ll do without you!
To put things in context, my bras are size 85 B or 90 B if I gain a little weight. Nothing very foolish, you will agree. So, I wouldn’t claim to know or understand the situation of girls with bigger boobs. Others on the internet will talk about it much better than I could.
What made me give up on bras?
Comfort! I could tell you that I had a militant enlightenment and that I said fuck off society and patriarchy but that wouldn’t be true. This awareness came a bit later. I’m teasing you here, keep reading this article. So, comfort. When any girl returns home, the first thing she does is pull off her bra and breathe a deep sigh of relief. Well, I was certainly no exception. So much so that Monsieur ended up asking me why I was wearing bras even though I hated them so much. Good question.
And the metal frames that cut through the fabric and cut your skin, should we talk about that? Anyway, that was not ok and I came to wonder if Monsieur was right, as so often, and that maybe I should try not to wear it. Sometimes. So, I stopped during weekends at home. Then, when I was going to shop or do groceries as well. At first, the friction of the fabric of my clothes directly on the nipple bothered me. That feeling didn’t last more than a week before I stopped paying attention to it. When I went out with friends, however, I always wore a bra.
Monsieur didn’t understand why I was torturing myself and although he didn’t insist, he kept asking me why I was wearing bras. And to tell you the truth, I had no other answer than: girls wear them, that’s how it is, it’s prettier. “For whom?”. That bloody question that made me feel so silly more than once.
What my trip has changed
While packing my backpack, I opened my underwear drawer and got into a real staring battle with my bras. And I closed the drawer. Without taking them. They were going to stay there, hidden, away from me for the whole month that I was going. However, I took some sport bras just in case. I was quite terrified to leave like that, but I was going to the other side of the world, this was the opportunity to try to do without.
Guess what, I really didn’t miss my bras. In the plane, I felt good. For a trip of almost 24 hours, it was better this way. More importantly, no one seemed to be paying even the slightest bit of attention. When you think about it, it makes sense. People have better things to do than worry about my poor small chest.
During the whole month in New Zealand, I just relaxed about it. Some people looked at my boobs from time to time, but never insistently. In fact, I mostly felt they were surprised or curious. I’ve also seen other girls not wearing a bra. I was watching too. I found them beautiful, proud, much more courageous than I who was terrified that someone would notice and judge me. That look on them, my own look, had nothing negative or inquisitive. No, that was positive so why would everyone else’s on me be any different? And then, if other people judged me, would that truly affect me? Not really, no. Might as well leave my breasts alone, the guys deserved it after so many years locked up for nothing.
Then, activism begins
Once back to the Netherlands, I automatically put on a bra to go out on some occasion and I just couldn’t stand it! Then, almost all the countries got locked up and I really had no reason to wear a bra while staying at home.
But then, I asked myself a lot of questions. Why had I been so afraid of not wearing a bra? Because my boobies were less pretty? These are my boobs after all. They are the shape they are, there is nothing I can do about it. Because girls must wear them? Who exactly decided that? And that’s the rub. Yes, here comes your turn Patriarchal Society. Well, because the men decided it was prettier, so it had to set a standard for femininity. But also, because the breast, although it is originally there to feed, please don’t forget, is so sexualized that it is necessary to hide its shape as much as possible.
Am I exaggerating? So why do my girlfriends tell me they would love to do the same but can’t. Why, you ask? I asked the same question. A silence so heavy that it becomes deafening always follows. So let me answer: because of our education of course! And you cannot undo education and social norms overnight. Did you know that 20% of French people think that if a man assaults a woman, he has an excuse if he could guess the shape of her nipple? A whole rape education to undo!
Now comes another point, wearing a bra is actually pretty bad. The connective tissues, those which support the breasts, are no longer requested with a bra on. So they relax. The chest will no longer be toned. Nature is well made, the breast is made to maintain itself.
I’ve done quite a bit of research on it and it turns out to be bad for the lymphatic system as well. This sternal lymph node chain around the chest is compressed every day by wearing a bra,. That affects the lymphatic drain which is supposed to eliminate toxins and causes poor blood circulation.
So why would you make yourself suffer, even put yourself in danger, for others who have decided what your female body should look like?
And what about now?
Now I’m talking openly about my choice to stop wearing bra. It has been 8 months and my former torturers are now gathering dust. I am thinking of selling them. However, sport is an exception because I always wear sport bras. Especially for impact sports. It’s about comfort, once again.
Even at work, when I work from the office, I don’t wear any bra anymore. I had no bad comments, possibly questions but nothing more.
One final point I would like to share with you is that I have regained an unbiased image of my breasts. It sounds crazy said like that. In fact, when you are used to seeing your boobs very firm, rounded and lifted by the bra, reality seems bland. Dare I say ugly? It took a while to be ok with my own image, the true image of my body and my breast. It is naturally beautiful. And don’t drop a millimeter.
In short, another well-conducted exorcism!
Tell me in the comments if the no bra is something you would like to try or if you already practice. And don’t hesitate if you want to talk about it or ask me questions!